It's not like I go around saying I'm punk anymore, but when you grow up with a bunch of punks, you live under an unspoken code of conduct and rules that seem to stick on your ribs like the fattiest stufft crust cheezza. And even after you've digested a whole bunch of bullshit, that punk fat is still there except its evolved past your ribcage and has traveled into your DNA.
It's all kind of a joke now but I know one true punk can sniff out another, like a junkie on the street. We're still around and just because some of us have traded our safety pins for Banana Republic, we can still find our brethren. In turn, just because someone trades their Banana Republic for safety pins, we can sniff out posers too. Especially when the safety pins are made by Balenciaga (Banana Republic would have sounded better in that sentence, but I doubt that company makes safety pins).
Without going into further explanation (punks don't feel the need to explain) I will say that "being embarrassed" is NOT PUNK.
Embarrassment is for the weak. Embarrassment is clearly stating "I care about what you think of me, even if you're a total stranger."
I won't lie and say I don't care what other people think of me, of course I do. If I didn't, I'd wear Juicy sweatsuits everyday because they're mad comfy. Fuck it I'd wear sweatpants. I don't because I care what people think. Mostly my friends, people who might offer me a job, and not to mention I like to feel good about myself--which happens to be punk.
Does that mean I won't leave you a voicemail of nonsensical grunts and giggles if I feel like it? No. And if it embarrasses you then go find tickets to a Taylor Swift concert and get off my fucking stage (punks say "fuck" whenever they want).
Sometimes we get loud and obnoxious. Sometimes we get "inappropriate." That's how we live. Maybe you're reading this right now and realizing that you are in fact punk and you didn't even know (not very punk but we'll let it slide).
Another punk thing to do is contradict yourself and feel ashamed and dumb and confused and say the wrong things, but tell the world anyway because bottling shit up and pretending it never happened in such an ugly way isn't for punks at all. It's for boring people who hate things that are ugly and off-putting and weird and not always easy to understand. Or stupid. Or smart. Or sloppy. Or apologetic.
I went to the rock show but my #1 crush wasn't there so I stood outside and ember to assed it, walked home to jerk off.
Did you know if you send soiled panties via USPS they are classified as BIOLOGICAL WASTE?
I tried to sell used panties but they were flagged and removed from craigslist.com within 30 minutes.
Here are some of the replies I got in that 1/2hr:
Clifton McReynolds askes: "you can send a pic of your underware that you have forsale?" and "just emailed asking for pic. how do you send your underware and do they still have any sent on them"
KMo1695779@aol.com: "let's see what you have to offer" and "Ok, are you different than the same ad from Seattle? if so, let's see what you have"
Milkman5am says: "No not unlegal sale used panties with germs smell yucky."
flagged & removed: 1498090695 (general) Slightly Used Panties
I want to eat but I have no hunger. Fucking airport bullshit yesterday. Got there 4 hours before my flight departed with 4 cigarettes to my name and rapidly chain smoked my stock. Felt ultra insane after 2 sleepless nights. Sleep deprivation induced hallucinations. Tumultuous Turbulence. Feared for my life. Silence. Deep sleep. Nicotine withdrawals. Extreme agitation. Got home and did my best to explain "what are you doing with my life?" So many dogs with bad hair cuts; I can't even count them. Roof jumpers, all of them.Buddha is the best boy. My own haircuts keep getting worse. It doesn't take any confidence to look like a hot mess. Much Needed Sleep. Fucked up frightmares involving my mom getting knocked up by my brother, anti-abortionists, failed attempts at cruise ship escape, trying to borrow a camera to take pictures of professional wrestlers, violently sucking face of former fuck. Woke up to an empty house. No cars. Silence. My mom buys me cigarettes. "Do I look thinner?" You look... You look... You look. New teeth. Mine are falling out of my face. I don't want them anymore. "It hurts to be pretty." Trying really hard not to snark.
Well what the shit. Things are happening and I'm totally stoked on them.
My god-daughter was born November 14, 2009 @ 8:24 central standard time. Aurora Noel. I get to meet her next week. I'm completely overjoyed.
Tyler & I got our slut on @ Jake's Amateur Strip Contest. He went 1st & I went 3rd. The judging was three hours later and neither of us won. Tyler did some sick acrobatic jamz on that poll and I fell of the stairs in my doll-faced pasties. IM-BARE-ASSED. Father fucking shot2theface pt.2 why is this our fate?!
In heavier news, I'm on a gnarly mother fucking baking kick. 2nite was dark chocolate craisin almond zucchini muffinz. goddamn delicious. The power went out shortly after devouring them and we had a seance for Ronald Reagan. Doors started mysteriously shutting and shit got hella conservative up in here. FRRRREEEEAKY. anyway, it was very romantic. ,,, & IPOD shuffle was EERILY synchronized with my dome wavez. I was feeling ultra nostalgic and romping around the house in the dark like Jason & I used to do when we didn't pay our bills. When we made a wall of furniture and camped in the living room to keep the heat in. When we spent the day at the panadería eating churros con chocolate. Before the days of "Want sex? Got sex!"
Smut'z about to be distributed @ Danger Room and we're going to make $300,000,000.....just enough to buy Playboy and merge the two companies into Playsmut.Watch out, we're bout to be RICH BITCHES.
Sometimes I get real stubborn and disobedient and I don't want to acknowledge or admit to myself the extent that things have improved in the last 90 days. People trust me with their children now. Ok, these people are mostly homeless tweakers with no other choice, but I wouldn't have been willing to give up my time before.
HERE'S THE THING I LOVE YOU.
OH WOW I ALMOST 4GOT 2 SHOW U THE THINGS. HERE THEY ARE: